Behind closed doors, Robert took phone calls from strangers asking for money for different causes. The latest was a lady who needed $10,000 to get her children back. Robert, who lost his child and wife, had his nephew Mark as his trusted advisor. Mark knew nothing about Robert's spending or that he had given away over $100,000 in the past year. When Robert asked Mark for $10,000 for a 'project,' Mark became suspicious. Robert couldn't give a straight answer and couldn't use his debit card. Puzzled, Mark met Robert at the bank to figure out the problem. The bank manager said the account was flagged for multiple withdrawals and checks cashed from different parts of the country. Robert had been sending money to random people he connected with over the phone and the internet. Mark decided to take over his uncle’s finances, but Robert resisted. Their relationship became strained, and Robert felt embarrassed and vulnerable.
Checklist for spotting financial abuse
1. Unusual Withdrawals:
Have you noticed large or frequent withdrawals from your loved one's bank accounts that they cannot explain?
• Yes / No
2. Changed Legal Documents:
Have you discovered any recent changes to wills, power of attorney, or other suspicious legal documents?
• Yes / No
3. Missing Belongings:
Are there valuables or personal items of your loved one that have gone missing without a reasonable explanation?
• Yes / No
4. Secrecy Around Finances:
When asked about their finances or financial decisions, does your loved one become defensive or secretive?
• Yes / No
5. New "Friends":
Has your loved one suddenly befriended a new individual showing an unusual interest in their finances?
• Yes / No
If you answered "Yes" to any of the questions above, it's imperative to delve deeper. Financial abuse can be subtle and often goes unnoticed until significant damage is done. It's essential to maintain open communication with your loved one and monitor any signs of potential financial exploitation. Consult with financial advisors, legal experts, or elder care specialists to safeguard your loved one's assets and well-being. Remember, awareness and proactive measures are key to breaking free from the shackles of financial abuse.
DETECTING THE PROBLEM:
We realized the signs were there when we talked with Robert and his nephew. Robert's sudden change in financial behavior and unexplained withdrawals were tied to his desire to help others and cope with his grief. He had trouble balancing his checkbook and often miscalculated. Sometimes, he had missing funds at home.
FINDING SOLUTIONS:
Implement safeguards like a financial power of attorney or trusted oversight. Encourage regular financial check-ins and seek professional advice from reputable sources.
STEPS WE TOOK:
1.
Mental and Cognitive Assessment: We recommended that Robert and Mark visit Robert’s primary care physician for an assessment. Robert had been sleeping poorly and had a protracted period of grief. He needed more support.
2.
Designate a POA: Robert and Mark decided to share oversight of his financial affairs. With the help of a lawyer, they developed a document for this purpose.
3.
Education and Empowerment: We educated Robert on the necessary tools to stay independent and safe at home.
Robert and Mark worked together to protect him from scammers and robocalls. Robert also worked on his mental health and wellbeing. He re-engaged with volunteering and began traveling. He met a lady named June, who is now his companion.
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